Ain't No Mountain High Enough

A lot has happened to me since my last blog post, which seems like forever ago.  Life has taken a change and that’s what has kept me away.  Over the last five months a great deal of issues at work have occurred and in a nutshell, I went from being the Assistant Library Director at the library I work at to being the Library Director.  It may seem like a small change, after all, I was already doing a fair amount of “Director-ish” type tasks on a daily basis, but believe me, it’s been a very challenging transition.  For one, I’ve had no one to train me.  Everything I’m doing now has been “self-taught.”  No one to show me how to update our website, no one to fill me in on projects that were already half completed that I knew very little about, and no one to show me how to plan a budget.  No one.  And yet, the City I work for still had enough faith in my ability to be a leader, to manage a staff, and to run the library in a way that puts our patrons first.  Why?  I’m really not sure other than the fact that they know that I see the “big picture” as to how a library works.  I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough…..it’s been really tough.  I’ve got so much on my shoulders now that some nights I come home and literally cry.  I'm constantly stressed out and I'm getting less sleep then ever before while having more nightmares.  In all honesty, I'm surprised I haven't lost all my hair.

All I want is to do my best, and in this case, what is best for my staff and the community I’m helping to serve.  As a way to keep from coming completely undone, every day I try to think: “What is my priority for today?”  That’s how I have to take it; one task and one day at a time.  If I can accomplish even just a couple tasks in a day, then I know I’ve at least accomplished something.  I’ve moved one foot in front of the other.  And slowly, progress is being made.  Communication among the staff has never been better.  We hold monthly staff meetings and relay important information on to staff members as they show up for work.  We’ve rearranged the overall layout of the library so that its “flow” is in a more “common sense” sort of way.  We’re getting back to the basics and our patrons can tell that the moral of all of the employees is on the rise.  Everyone seems more relaxed (other than me of course) and happy.  It’s nice to feel like I’m doing something right.

Chaps and I before riding up the mountain

Back in October I went to El Paso, Texas with my boyfriend, Chaps to meet his family members that I hadn’t met yet.  Chaps arranged for me to rent a road bike from his friend, Gilberto Porras, of Atom Cyclist bike shop (stop by if you are ever in the El Paso area) so we could ride together while we were down there.  For some reason, Chaps seemed to think that I’d be ready to tackle climbing a mountain on the bike…..huh, yea, cuz I’ve had so much experience climbing mountains while living in Nebraska…..I thought he was crazy.  For weeks before the trip he would talk to me about riding up this wall that was no stranger to him, and every time he brought it up I’d just think, “well I’m gonna just give it my best.  I’ll put it in a low gear and I’ll just spin up the thing…….or die trying.” 

Chaps decided we would take on the mountain on Saturday, so on Friday he and I went out for 35 mile ride on the flat roads that stretch across this bowl-like area.  This was also the first time that Chaps and I had EVER ridden together, so of course I didn’t want to look like a fool or anything.  At one point while we were cruising along we saw another cyclist turn onto the road a little way ahead of us.  He quickly took on a decent pace and honestly, that bothered me.  I’m pretty competitive with myself when I ride and for some reason if there is a rider ahead of me, I almost get offended by it.  They become my “carrot,” and I stop at nothing until I catch them…….  Chaps is aware of this “issue” I have and I think he probably could sense it, because all a sudden he said, “Go get ‘em babe.”  That was all I had to hear and instantly I was getting into bigger gears, not quite “Mark Cavendish” style, but more of a “Fabian Cancellara” style: trying to go fast, but wanting to hold that speed for as long as I could.  My reward was catching my “carrot” and then passing him; a triumphant laugh in my head: HA HA!  The rest of the ride was fairly relaxed, and took us into New Mexico and up an incline that Chaps lovingly calls the “Stairway to Heaven.”  I was in total awe of the mountains looming beside me as we rode on, knowing that the next day I was going to be riding up one.

Then it came: Judgment Day.  The mountain we were going to climb was Trans-Mountain, part of Highway 375 Loop.  It’s over 5,000 feet of climbing at an 8% grade.  Did I mention I’d NEVER ridden up a mountain before?!  So we set off on our little excursion, each pedal stroke bringing me closer to what certainly would be a heart attack at age 26.  As we began our climb on this long corner I could see about half a mile or so ahead of us was another cyclist, “Good, we’re not the only fools out here.”  It was beautiful, all the scenery and carved out rock rising above us almost made me forget that we were going up.  That all changed though when we turned another corner and the road took an 8% bend towards the sky. 

“Oh shit….”



One of the swooping parts of the climb



“Ok, this is where I find out if I’ve got the legs for this.”  I got into a decent pace, counting “1, 2, 1, 2” in my head with every pump my legs gave.  I needed to stay in a rhythm or I’d never make it.  And then, there he was: my carrot.  “No way, Krissy.  Not this time.”  *chuckling*  I was already telling myself that this was NOT the day for me to be competitive; something I never do, but then just over my shoulder Chaps urged, “Go get ‘em babe.”  I had to give him what must have been the “glare of the century” and annoyingly shouted back, “YOU go get ‘em!”  I mean after all, I’ve NEVER ridden up a mountain before and now I’m supposed to bridge the gap?  Chaps though, is the kind of guy that can make you believe you're capable of anything.  “Just keep this pace.  Hold it and you got him.”  So I did.  I kept up my internal counting and before I knew it, I was right behind this guy….but I wasn’t about to slow down.  I managed to let him know that I was coming around him and that was it, I had caught him and now had passed him!  No time to get too excited though; I had to keep moving.  The road continued upward as if it would never end and my legs screamed at me to stop and end the pain, but no, I was getting too close, and I wouldn’t give up.  On the final incline Chaps rode ahead of me to show me where we would pull over to turn around.  It was only then that I could see the road was rounding off the way it does when you know you’re near the top of a climb.  I suddenly got new life in the ‘ol pistons.  I’ve never felt so happy, relieved, and ALIVE in all my life.  The most wonderful feeling was that I had made it, and to have done so with Chaps at my side was even more special than I ever could have imagined.  I now truly understand what it means to have “tears of joy.”



Me at the top of Trans-Mountain



After some picture taking to mark the occasion, Chaps gave me a crash course on how to properly descend the behemoth we had just conquered.  It was only when we started down the highway that I realized just how steep the incline had been to climb.  Watching the rock walls flash by me and feeling the cool wind currents flutter by was unbelievable.  I laughed and screamed the entire way down!  It was an absolute blast and made all my effort to get to the top worthwhile.  When I caught back up to Chaps, who had gone quite a bit faster than I had down the mountain, I screamed, “That was AWESOME!!!”  I felt like I could fly and I couldn’t wait to do it again……on another day.  ;)

That whole experience made me think back to the “mountain” I had taken on at work.  No experience in this role and yet climbing the mountain anyway.  It’s a scary thing, but working through the struggles and accomplishing the goals I’ve set has made me appreciate getting up the mountain even more.  It’s not always about experience when it comes to getting you where you need to go, but about the encouragement you get along the way and determination you have in yourself to not quit.  Now when I start to get in a frazzle with the piles of papers and projects on my desk, I think of the mountain and what I need to do to get up it.  After all, once I get to the top I get to coast all the way down!

-Krissy (The Cycling Librarian)

**For your enjoyment, this is a video I found on YouTube.com of Trans-Mountain.  This video actually runs from the wrong direction from what we rode up the mountain.  At the 2:05 mark of the video you will see the overlook parking where Chaps and I finished our ride and turned around to descend on the same rode in which we climbed up the mountain.  This will give you a good idea as to what it looked like to fly down the mountain as well as how steep the grade was going up!  Enjoy!